


this sound of glass

by entitled, jackswest



Category: His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Daemons, Alternate Universe - His Dark Materials, Daemons, F/M, M/M, Multi, interdaemonal growth, interpersonal growth, sad soldiers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-08
Updated: 2016-02-08
Packaged: 2018-05-19 00:44:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5949625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/entitled/pseuds/entitled, https://archiveofourown.org/users/jackswest/pseuds/jackswest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>a daemon AU where Finn learns to connect to himself, Rey learns to connect with others, and Poe learns to give himself</p>
            </blockquote>





	this sound of glass

**Author's Note:**

> work title and chapter titles taken from the poetry of margaret atwood. no part of the star wars universe, his dark materials, nor atwood's poetry canon belong to us. we hope you enjoy what we've written!

The first time FN-2187 committed an infraction was when he was 8 years old. Due to a fault in class schedules and the lack of superiors to watch the stormtroopers-in-training, he’d managed to get away. Still not entirely old enough to know what he was doing, he walked down a corridor, following a particular ache in his chest that seemed to lead him to stacks and stacks of cages -- all containing animals. Not only that but some of the animals were rapidly changing form, switching between birds and mammals and reptiles.

He stared for a moment, mouth agape, before approaching one cage at the bottom. There was a dog, tucked away at the back corner, a small black puppy who seemed very afraid.

FN-2187 made soothing noises and reached his hand into the cage. “Hey, little one. It’s okay,” he said softly, clicking his fingers gently until the puppy became curious enough to approach his fingers.

Then, it licked his hand and FN-2187 yelped in shock, pulling his hand out and cradling it as though he’d been burnt. The puppy also skidded back, making similar yipping noises of distress. The door banged open but FN-2187 barely noticed himself being hauled to his feet until he was being dragged out of the corridor, leaving all the animals behind but especially the dog. His dog, he almost thought to himself before an officer began to yell at him for committing a serious infraction and being put on probation.

FN-2187 didn’t understand what had happened until later. Of course he’d seen people like Lieutenant Phasma or Hux with their animals -- daemons they were called -- at a distant. But he always thought they were reserved for special people. People with names instead of codes. People who were lucky enough to have the other half of themselves near them at all times.

FN-2187 revisited the memory of seeing the dog in his mind each night for a week and the intense feeling of belonging he’d felt when it licked his hand. Eventually, he became fearful that the memory would wear from him looking at it too much, or someone know what he was thinking about and label him as defective and he tried to stop thinking about the dog.

-

When the stormtroopers had reached puberty, they were allowed to train with their daemons. The black dog, he found out, was his daemon, just as the other animals in cages belonged to his fellow stormtroopers. As a general rule, stormtroopers daemons settled as useful animals or animals that were loyal. His bunkmate, AY-2289, had a lean greyhound that was particularly good at retrieving any weapons that had skidded across the floor.

FN-2187 was lucky that the black puppy had grown up into what he now knew was a labrador with glossy fur and a nose that always seemed raised, always searching for something. He was bitterly thankful for this after the stormtroopers were forced to watch a tiny hummingbird daemon be cut off from its stormtrooper, FO-3350.

Hummingbirds served no purpose in the First Order.

With this new allowance came more rules, the first being: stormtroopers were never to touch their daemons.

“It is not helpful. It serves no purpose,” FN-2187 remembered Captain Phasma telling them before they were allowed to see them. Purpose was always key in the First Order. “Don’t touch them, don’t let them touch you.”

After being reunited following several years of reliving a painfully short memory FN-2187 almost forgot this rule. His daemon was caught in the face with the paw of a fellow stormtrooper’s big jaguar-daemon during a training session. A line burned across his face, mirroring the path the other daemon’s extended claws had taken across his daemon’s face. She yelped loudly, thumping awkwardly to the ground, and without thinking FN-2187 attempted to run to her side to clutch her to him, but the barrel of a phaser collided with his chest, stopping him in his tracks.

“Return to your position, FN-2187.”

He couldn’t help the words slipping from his lips. “Sir, my daemon-- the daemon, she’s hurt.” Her face was wet, black fur matting with blood.

“If it is hurt, it will learn to get up, just like you do. Otherwise it will not survive.” Stormtroopers were also barred from using possessive language about the animals. Behind the officer, a wolfhound-daemon growled a warning. FN-2187 took a step back, falling into line, praying that his daemon would stand up and praying that she would forgive him. Their faces burned, but he took small comfort in knowing her eyes were unharmed.

Thankfully, she’d done nothing wrong within the parameters of the training session, and Finn’s offence was minor. FN-2187 counted himself lucky that they had only received one moderate infraction after his daemon took off across the hangar when a loudly backfiring jet had spooked her. Still, the stormtrooper carrying his daemon by the scruff of her neck felt like someone was peeling the skin from his body. He had to clench his fists to keep from crying out.

Eventually, the urge to touch his daemon was suppressed. FN-2187 found he could interact and train with her without feeling any compulsion to touch her even when one of them had been hurt. He thought he would be relieved but all he felt was sadness.

-

The first time he met a non-First Order daemon, he couldn’t stop staring. Poe’s daemon sat perched on his shoulder, all beautiful colours and intelligent eyes. The only person he’d seen with a bird daemon before was Hux and it was a vicious eagle who had delighted in clawing at the stormtroopers and their daemons.

“Not a bad looking bird, is he?” Poe joked breathlessly as they moved onto the aircraft. “His name’s Maximom. Mine’s Poe, by the way, what’s yours?”

Shortly after they crashed, Finn realised he would need to give his daemon its own name, just as Poe had given him his name. He pulled the jacket from the burning cockpit, eyes lingering on the small white lettering on the label. Asori, it said.

Asori, Finn thought, looking down at the dog who was sitting patiently beside him, ears alert. “Asori,” he murmured aloud, just to try it out. It felt the way ‘Finn’ had sounded, a warm feeling spreading through him.

 _I like it,_  Asori replied and Finn yelled and pedalled himself backwards, away from this dog that had surely not just talked to him.

 _It's okay! It's okay!_  Asori said and just the thought of a dog talking to him made it seem Even More Not Okay. Maybe Finn had been in the desert for longer than he’d thought. _I think I’m supposed to be able to do this, although I’m not sure why I couldn’t before._

The more she talked, the more Finn grew used to it, though he was still incredibly cautious. Her voice sounded familiar, like something he’d heard before, a long time ago.

“Okay,” he said, nodding his head. “I mean, I’m not sure what other wild things the universe could throw at me but we’d better get out of here.”

They set off walking and even though he’d been surrounded by people since birth, for the first time in his life, Finn didn’t feel alone.

-

Finn didn’t realise his absolute ignorance about daemons as a concept until he met Rey. Her daemon was like no animal he’d ever seen before. Definitely some kind of cat, that much he knew. A lithe, tan animal with intimidating black markings on its face, it stretched out beside Rey, tail twitching and eyes roaming constantly. He felt Asori shift uncomfortably under the passing gaze.

“Is that a-- cat?” Finn asked before he could stop himself once Rey was beneath the floor, trying to stop a poisonous leak from killing them all.

“No, he’s a caracal and his name is Qore,” she replied testily. “Hand me that wrench.” As Finn passed her the tool, Qore stretched out and paced over to where Finn was crouched; it was more intimidating than he would care to admit. As the caracal moved, the colours on his pelt seemed to shift, from the palest shades of yellow to deep reds. It reminded him of the sands on Jakku. Both him and Asori eyed it curiously before Finn swallowed his fear and reached down to pet him, figuring he should be friendly.

Before he could touch the fur, Qore hissed and spat at him, causing Asori to cry _Watch out!_ and Rey to look up from what she was doing.

“What in the stars are you doing?” Rey said, her eyes wide with shock as Qore lurched backwards to his human, ears flat against his skull.

“I-- I don’t know, I was just going to touch him, say hello I guess,” Finn stammered out, not exactly sure what he’d done wrong.

“You’re not supposed to touch other people’s daemons,” Rey said, watching him carefully. “Do they raise you resistance fighters under a rock?”

Finn laughed nervously, aware he was being watched by Rey and Qore and BB-8. He glanced at Asori for help but she just lay her head on her paws. “Something like that,” he muttered, ignoring BB-8’s suspicious whirring.

Rey gave him a long, hard stare before she got back to work on the piece-of-garbage-ship they’re in. Finn let out a heavy breath, uncertain he’d convinced her but grateful she’d let it go for now. He’d have to work a lot harder in the future to be on his game, both for his safety and Asori’s.

He wasn’t just looking out for just himself anymore.

“But that’s… that's what they did to us…” Finn thinks of the times his superiors handled Asori - before she had a name, before he touched her. “So it’s okay to touch your own?” He asks, needing some sort of reassurance that he’s not doing something wrong with Asori too. “But not other people’s?”

Something softens in Rey’s face, so slightly Finn is not even sure he sees it. Qore winds his way around Rey’s feet making a soft trilling sound. “Yes, Finn, it’s okay to touch your own daemon, of course it is.” She brushes against Qore’s long ears with her fingertips. “Who touched Asori other than you?” Her voice is laced with concern, and Qore’s ears twitch.

“My, uh, my superiors.” Finn manages to say, the memory of the tight squeeze around his chest - his heart - causing Asori to press tightly against his legs. “They did it as a punishment. I guess it’s obvious now I’m not a Resistance fighter - I was in the First Order, against my will though. I should have realised it would have felt bad for you.”

Rey’s entire face seemed to crinkle in… disgust? … horror? Oh, stars, had he grossed her out? Did she hate him? “I’m sorry, Rey," he said quietly, wishing he could take it back.

It was a moment before she replied. Her voice was soft and sincere and filled with a quiet but violent anger. “I can’t believe they did that to you. That’s monstrous.” Qore seems to think so too, arching his back and hissing quietly.

A feeling builds in Finn's stomach. He's confused about why she reacted to that, and not the fact he was in the First Order. He's only just beginning to understand the depth and gravity of what he's gone through, what Asori had gone through, now that he's out and has something to compare it to and he's not sure if he wants to know.

But that's all Rey says before her face clears and she gets back to work on the piece-of-garbage-ship they’re in. And for that, Finn is grateful.


End file.
